I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
