Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
