I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
