The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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