Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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