I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
