cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize