so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
