After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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