I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
