i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work