Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea