her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
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