is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
