Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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