Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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