the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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