no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
