clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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