I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
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I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
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Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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