I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
