i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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