Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
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I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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