i was born a porn star she said
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
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