Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
