ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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