just come out here and I will go home with you...
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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