I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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