sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize