Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
