The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
