I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
