We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
