he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
