I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
