I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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