Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
