Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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