why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize