FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
