I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
she looked like the before picture.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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