Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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