I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
