I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize