I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize