I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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