I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
