Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
