Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
No I am not eating basil off your cock
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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