i always forget guys have bellybuttons
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
