I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ATM looks so different sober.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize