I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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