Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
