yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
