Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
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I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
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I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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