Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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