ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
