look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It's rum buckets o'clock
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.