Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.