butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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