Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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